Loneliness was enveloping me in London the last time we spoke, but I think I found the cure: accepting it. Don’t misunderstand me, I don’t mean wallow in your solitude. I mean say to yourself, “I’m lonely and that’s okay. I accept that I am lonely,” and then move on, do something, live.
Once I accepted that, I heard from my great friend from high school, Sienna. I had not seen her in maybe a year, at least. She is currently backpacking through Europe and she asked me if I wanted to go to Liverpool with her for the weekend. I knew this was my highest good calling me, calling both of us. I was presented me with what I needed after accepting my initial conditions. So, we met up in London and took a train to Liverpool.
Sienna was feeling the same loneliness I had been feeling, and once we saw each other, we both felt home. A warm hug from a genuinely good friend and loving soul repaired a few broken pieces from my first month here. She is a rare specimen. Sienna cares for other people in a way I’ve never seen. She’ll tell you how grateful she is to be around you, how much she loves you, and how amazing you are, and it’s all truth. She doesn’t aim to please; she aims to spread all the love she has in her heart. It is quite inspiring.
Together, we meandered around Liverpool and, honestly, I was shocked at how much I loved the city. Every street had multiple cute cafés and a plethora of food types, ranging from Moroccan to American to Italian. And everywhere we went, Sienna would introduce her and myself, she would asked people where their from, where they’re going, and she brought a smile to everyone we met.
On our first day we stumbled across a beautiful courtyard at the back of the city’s college. In the courtyard there was a violin shop, and being music lovers we peeked in. Sienna struck up conversation with the owner Michael Phoenix and we learned he makes all the violins on his own, by hand, with no electricity; One violin selling for £8,000. Wow.
We also came upon a barbershop across the way from the courtyard, which reminded me of the barbershop I frequent in New York City. I decided I would come back the next day to get my haircut.
Sienna and I were sitting at dinner and catching up after our first day together. We went to a performing arts high school, and I’m still pursuing acting, but Sienna has decided to get a degree in graphic design and animation work. I constantly ask her why she doesn’t focus on her music. She has such a unique voice and the heart of a poet. She said she’s not sure if she has the motivation to pursue it. Her self-critic is telling her, “I’m not worthy.” I said to her, “You know, the universe always shows you what is for your highest good. I believe in you because I’m the same way and you believe in me.” To which she gave me a classic Sienna giggle, looked into my soul and said, “I love you.”
Sienna and I returned to the barbershop the following day, however it is a gentlemen only saloon. So, being the free spirit she is, she said she’d find something to do and return in half an hour. So I finished my haircut and Sienna was nowhere to be found. I decided to wait at the Café Nero across the way. She showed up about an hour later, very apologetic, and frazzled. Of course I told her it was fine, not to worry, and she said to me, “I think I’m playing on BBC Radio tonight?”
This is where the universe stepped in.
She had returned to Michael’s violin shop and he asked her if she played any instruments, and she ended up strumming his guitar and serenading him. A colleague of his, Mikayla, was on her lunch break in the courtyard and heard her voice and she rang up her coworkers at BBC Merseyside Radio down the street and asked if they’d have Sienna play on air that night. Well, the rest is history.
I went with Sienna and we sat and chatted with Linda McDermott and the gang at the Under The Duvet Club on BBC Radio. I have never felt more welcomed by a city the way Liverpool and its people have welcomed me. They asked us about our lives, our goals, and our opinions. I felt so valued.
This was a message for Sienna from the universe to see that people support her, she is worthy, and she can be a musician because it is who she is and it serves her highest good. It makes her feel emotionally whole, while filling others with love.
Little did I know there was a message to me in all of this. This was not my moment to shine, it was hers and I was 100% okay with that. I felt so humbled and proud to share this moment with her. As I picked up my phone to record her second song, she nudged me to put it down and I sat there and just listened. I watched the guests in the room as they closed their eyes, or smiled and stared at her in awe, I closed my eyes too. I was present. I was living in the moment. Time stopped.
Sienna reminded me how important it is to just be. The entire weekend actually, I tried not to be on my phone a lot. When you’re sitting with Sienna, she speaks directly to you, she looks into your eyes, she is actually there with you. Something I’ve had difficulty finding with a lot of friends recently. She made me feel worthy.
The universe will speak to you if you ask for guidance. I needed a friend and Sienna (re-)appeared. I am so grateful for the past couple of days–for the reminder to be present, and the gift of witnessing Sienna blossom like a rose covered in fresh dew.